terse baptist woman
righteous in her morals
was never warm and fuzzy
but felt enough to buy the fabric and buttons
for this motherless girl
pin the pattern, sew the ruffles for the white apron
hem flowery dress and knit the raggedy ann hair
when she presented it to me i was astounded
this raggedy ann was perfect, how could i hold that?
she was pretty and whole
but paramount was her perfection, this doll was flawless
and i systematically tore her apart
i ripped her to shreds, a little each day
not in anger but like some homework assignment
methodically and without emotion
and i grieved the loss of this beautiful hand-made doll i would never have again
even as i pulled out the seams and ripped out her eyes
just like the vacancy i felt as i carved into our household furniture with the seam ripper from mama’s sewing box
dad, oblivious in his sorrow, did not notice the ugly furniture marks or did not care, shrouded in his own fog of grief, his wife gone forever
the next time she visited, i felt dirty shame when she saw the mutilated doll
she assured me of her condemnation
and i wondered too, why had i done that?
i never understood until now
why destruction is the partner
for the disturbed:
people who are broken
break the things they love
11 comments
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October 15, 2013 at 5:24 am
Lori Kananack
That one hit a little too close to home.
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October 15, 2013 at 6:54 am
Betty
This is one of the best you have written, I could feel your emotion and frustration when reading. Good work.
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October 16, 2013 at 5:39 pm
iwritemyself
Thanks for taking the time to comment, Betty. We’ll be up Oct 26th weekend…hope to see y’all!
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October 15, 2013 at 11:29 am
Donnie Bee
Destruction can also be an act of self-affirmation: a rejection of whatever doesn’t suit us. In this case, the act of destruction might also be understood as a positive and passionate affirmation of love for the one who was lost, the one whose gifts can never be replaced, even by the most righteous or well-intentioned.
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October 15, 2013 at 8:03 pm
iwritemyself
Ah, Donnie, this is an interesting thought. Thank you for your comment.
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October 15, 2013 at 4:01 pm
Lani LuLu
wow, that touches a deep and tender nerve
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October 15, 2013 at 5:50 pm
Eve Visconti
Wow! Very interesting.Let’s chat about this one.
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October 15, 2013 at 7:27 pm
Mary OToole
Hi Maurine – Thank you for this poem. It is really extraordinary and so wonderfully written. One of your very best. P.S. Just one line of your poem I think has a typo: “even as a pulled out the seams and ripped out her eyes”. Should it be “even as i pulled. . . .
Mary _____
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October 15, 2013 at 8:04 pm
iwritemyself
Mary, thank you SO much for bringing this to my attention. I don’t know how that happened, but yes, it should be “I” instead of “a.” I have corrected the post. Thank you for reading, your work strikes me as well!
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October 15, 2013 at 10:46 pm
thomas burks
this one really hit the mark Sister!
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October 16, 2013 at 5:37 pm
iwritemyself
some of the most moving poetry I’ve ever heard have been the lyrics you’ve written to your songs, so thank you for such a great compliment.
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